What does it mean to be a grown-ass woman? You know one when you spot one, that’s for sure. She’s kind and considerate, sets big, bold boundaries and she knows — and likes who she is. But every grown-ass woman knows that it’s a daily practice, not a destination. Even the strongest, most badass grown-ass woman struggles in certain areas. She’s a work in progress. We all are.
I’ve been observing — studying, really — grown-ass women for years, paying close attention to what makes her thrive and shine. And I’ve determined it’s all about two things: belief and habits. Belief that she’s worth it, even when she’s not feeling it, and habits that back up that worthiness. In fact, I’ve created a handy-dandy printable with 11 of those habits. Download it, print it, and post it where you can see it every day. It could be a screenshot on your phone or computer. It could be taped to your bathroom mirror. It could be in your car as a reminder whenever you hit the road. It could be on the wall in your office… basically anywhere. Work on even one or two of these habits and you’ll see changes — like really.
What does it mean to our community to be a Grown-Ass Woman?
- Being a Grown-Ass Woman means I have the means to take care of me and mine on my own partner or not. Grown-Ass. — Frances
- Doing what needs to be done, whatever that is. — Diane H
- Not apologizing for other people’s bad behavior. — Julee
- It means I officially have zero f*cks ‘s to give. — Wendy
- Not seeking approval or permission to do be have, or experience anything I want. — Maureen
- Being accountable to yourself for the things that you can control. If you want something different for yourself, then do something that you’ve never done before. Get out of your comfort zone. — Diane S
So what are the habits we need to practice when looking to live a life as the most badass, grown-ass versions of ourselves? Here are just a few of my favorites.
A Grown-Ass Woman believes I’m not for everyone A grown-ass woman knows she’s not for everyone. I have talked about this so many times. I talk about it with my kids, with my clients. You’re not for everyone. Imagine living your life, constantly trying to win people over. It might not be that hard to imagine. It is a game changer when you realize that sometimes people just don’t like certain people. It could be their energy, it could be their baggage, or it just could be their preference. When you start to realize, “Hey, you know what, I’m not for everyone,” You start to become more for yourself.
A Grown-Ass Woman makes no apologies. We don’t apologize for our life choices. We don’t apologize for what we want or how we live our lives. But on the flip side, we are quick to apologize when we’re actually at fault. We don’t pretend that it’s not our fault. We don’t play games. We take responsibility for our life and our actions.
A Grown-Ass woman knows No, Thank You is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain why you don’t want to do something or why you choose to do something else. It’s a complete sentence. Just own it. Be polite and let’s move on.
A Grown-Ass Woman sees vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness. This one took me decades to realize. In fact, I don’t think we can actually be connected to each other on a deeper level if we’re not willing to be vulnerable.
A Grown-Ass Woman uses her voice to help others. There are women everywhere who are held back at no fault of their own. If you’re in a place of power or privilege — use it. If you have a seat at the table, move over and help her up. I truly believe we are meant to do that.
The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide is committed to helping you become the Grown-Ass Woman you’re capable of being. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel, podcast and join our robust GROWN-ASS WOMAN’S GUIDE COMMUNITY.